Example ad that worked well for me recently. Enjoy.

[kfort]

I borrow bits and pieces from example ads here all the time so I figure it's only right that I share. You may find this useful. Linked the kijiji ad as well so you can get a feel for what type of property it is. Basics: 3 bd, 2 1/2 bath, sfh, great yard, smaller town near Saskatoon (bedroom community that is growing rapidly). Feel free to pick it apart or to borrow what you like and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Cheers



http://saskatoon.kijiji.ca/c-real-estate-house-rental-Stop-Enjoy-Cool-Fall-Nights-by-the-Firepit-with-the-Kids-Dog-W0QQAdIdZ525386398



My ad:





Stop -Enjoy Cool Fall Nights by the Firepit with the Kids & Dog!
If you`re looking for a big, beautiful place to call home then look no further! Welcome to Saskatoon Properties` first Martensville unit. This unit is extremely well kept family home is ideal for families of 3 or 4 who`s kids are 5 or older. You will LOVE the 20` ceiling in the Great Room. Relax by the fireplace with a glass of wine, after just flip the switch and there`s no cleanup needed. You can let the kids play in the yard and never worry, it`s fully fenced and safe. Or, let them blow off some steam in the basement if you`ve set it up as their `playroom`. The bedrooms are all good size and your master bedroom has a great en suite right beside the walk in closet. Tons up cupboard space as well as counter space will have you enjoying cooking again. If space is an issue right now this place will solve your problems quick, fast and in a hurry. No more stumbling over junk, no more clutter, just the perfect space for all your belongings and your family! Don`t Pass This One Up... call now: XXXXXXX






About your neighbourhood, it`s perfect for young families. You`re on one of the quietest blocks in town and literally 1 block from the park. You`ll love taking the kids tobogganing in the winter, and walking the dog in the summer. Yep, that`s right; Fido is welcome to tag along while you enjoy the small town lifestyle. Not many places can boast pet friendly family lifestyle these days. There`s easy access to highway 12 if you`re a commuter. Places like this really don't come along often, and small pet friendly too!!







The open, clean and bright setting will inspire you each morning. You`ll come home to a relaxing warm and inviting atmosphere each day when you finish work. If you`d like to come home to a place that is nicer than every other family rental on the market, call now, this won`t last long! XXXXXXXXX










Love the outdoors? We do too. So much so that every one of our properties has a beautiful private outdoor firepit area. This one is a large area of interlocking stone big enough for a group of 10. We`ll even provide the firepit! Call now to book your viewing! XXXXXXXXX

 

[invst4profit]

You should always add at the end of a add that applicants will be fully screened including credit checks. This will reduce time screening unqualified applicants and weed out professional tenants that tend to target your type of property.

I believe more facts like rental rate, utilities not included etc should be stated. I personally do not like calling to ask "how much". I tend to believing a item is overpriced if the price is not mentioned in a add.

Including as many actual facts rather than fluff will weed out a lot of unnecessary calls simply seeking those facts.



It felt like I was reading a sales pitch for a vacation resort and lost interest before getting through the entire add.

 

[kfort]

# of beds / price etc is built into the system on kijiji so I do not put it directly in my ads.

 

[Sherilynn]

I love how you have made the prospects picture themselves living there and see the possibilities for a happy life in this home. Well done!



A few grammar mistakes:

• "This unit is an extremely well kept..."
  [*]"ideal for families whose kids..."
  [*]"Tons of cupboard space..."
  [*]"quick, fast and in a hurry." Why the repetition?
  "relaxing, warm, and inviting..." (needs commas)
  
  
  A few overstatements that I would consider rephrasing (just because some people aren't that bright):
  
  
  "after just flip the switch and there's no cleanup needed." Does the fireplace do the dishes?
  "let the kids play in the yard and never worry, it's fully fenced and safe." What if someone took this 100% literally? (Did I mention that some people aren't that bright?)

Overall, great job!

 

[kfort]

Thanks Sherilynn, I find it nearly impossible to proof read my own stuff for grammar. I never read what's there, only what's supposed to be!

 

[Sherilynn]

[quote user=kfort]Thanks Sherilynn, I find it nearly impossible to proof read my own stuff for grammar. I never read what's there, only what's supposed to be!




Yes, the human brain is (sadly) wired this way.

 

[housingrental]

There's good feedback above I'd add:



This portion should be removed :" is ideal for families of 3 or 4 who`s kids are 5 or older. "



You should add:

We thoroughly screen all potential renters to ensure a top quality community for your ease of living.

Please be prepared to provide a last month rent deposit and authorize us doing a credit, past landlord, and employer check when looking to live here.

 

[kfort]

The reason I mentioned the age of kids is because techinically the master bedroom (en suite, & walk in) is on the main floor. The two smaller bedrooms are actually upstairs. So, if they happened to have a toddler or younger, they would most likely have to use a smaller bedroom as their master in order to be beside their child. It's a bit of a unique layout. I lived there for 4 years and loved it but it isn't a universally loved layout.



I like the wording you've provided for the screening business. I often simpkly add "credit and reference check required" or similar but it appears I forgot to with this one. I'll do that. Thanks Adam!

 

[bizaro86]

How old kids need to be to sleep on a different floor than their parents isn't something you can fairly judge, imo, and there isn't any upside to specifying in your ad.



I'd take that out and say something like, "Perfect for families with xx bedrooms and xxxx sq feet" and specify somewhere else that the master is on the main floor.



On second thought, you might want to change it to something like, "All the room you need with a generous main floor master bedroom (ensuite/walk-in closet) plus another x bedrooms upstairs."



No reason to specify families, imo, especially when that layout might work well for someone with older children at home, or an extended family type situation, or seniors (main floor master) who have visitors.



Regards,



Michael

 

[kfort]

[quote user=bizaro86]

On second thought, you might want to change it to something like, "All the room you need with a generous main floor master bedroom (ensuite/walk-in closet) plus another x bedrooms upstairs."




I like this, I'm stealing it. Thanks Michael!

 

[bizaro86]

[quote user=kfort]

I like this, I'm stealing it. Thanks Michael!





You're welcome. One of my personal goals for this year was to improve my writing (I'm an engineer by profession, and we're not typically noted for our linguistic skills). I'm glad that was helpful.



That sounds like an excellent rental, and your ad is very good. One thing I've found is that if I allow pets the vast majority of the applicants I receive have pets, as the availability of "pet friendly" rentals in Calgary is extremely low. Thus, I've started pricing my pet friendly rentals at a premium to what I otherwise would expect, by only using pet friendly comps when setting the price.



Do you find a significant premium for allowing pets in SK?



Regards,



Michael

 

[kfort]

[quote user=bizaro86][quote user=kfort]

I like this, I'm stealing it. Thanks Michael!




Do you find a significant premium for allowing pets in SK?



Regards,



Michael




Absolutely I do. Not only that, but I can generally find a good pool of qualified applicants in 5 days or less. This one took 12 hours. And, he doesn't even have a dog. But he liked that his girls do have the option of getting one at some point. I have a 2 bedroom main floor that I added $150/ month to and said pet friendly... I had 40 calls in 2 days.



I also have had some great luck including utilities. If utilities average $225/month I add $300 and rent it all inclusive. However I have noticed there are generally some price ceilings for this as a LOT of landlords will drastically underestimate utilities costs in their ads and then people get stuck with $150 extra in costs they arent expecting. Example, utilities on this place would average $250-275, But if I tried renting it for $2,500/month inclusive it would be slower to gather a good pool of applicants.